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April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

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 What is sexual violence?

Sexual violence refers to sexual activity when consent in not obtained or not freely given. The term sexual violence can refer to any violence, physical or psychological, carried out through sexual means or by targeting a person’s sexuality, gender identity, or gender expression. Sexual violence impacts every community and affects people of all races, religions, cultures, sexual orientations, socioeconomic and age groups. 

 Sexual Violence Statistics

Sexual Violence Myths & Facts

There is a lot of information (and misinformation) that circulates about sexual violence and the people affected by it. The following myths are common and can impact survivors of assault or abuse, as well as the behavior and effectiveness of friends, family, medical, social service and law enforcement personnel. This will help clarify some of the most common myths.

Myth: Sexual Assaults are not that common.

Fact: There is an average of 433,648 victims ages 12 or older of rape and sexual assault each year in the U.S. This means 1 sexual assault occurs every 73 seconds.

Myth: Only women are victims of sexual assault/Men cannot be sexually assaulted.

Fact: A victim of sexual assault can be of any age, race, class, gender, or sexual orientation. According to RAINN (The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network), one in ten victims of sexual assault is male, and three percent of American men are victims of rape or attempted rape.

Myth: Most sexual assaults are committed by strangers.

Fact: Most sexual assaults and rapes (8 out of 10 in fact) are committed by someone the victim knows, or is acquainted with. Only about 19.5% of sexual assaults/rapes are committed by someone completely unknown to the victim.

Myth: A person cannot be sexually assaulted by their partner or spouse.

Fact: Sexual assault can be committed within any type of relationship, including in marriage, in dating relationships, or by friends, acquaintances or co-workers.

Myth: Sexual assaults most often occur in deserted areas like garages, stairwells, or wooded areas. 

Fact: The majority of assaults occur in places ordinarily thought to be safe, such as homes, cars and offices. 55% of rape or sexual assault victimizations occur at or near the victim’s home, and 12% occur at or near the home of a friend, relative, or acquaintance.

Myth: If a person is aroused s/he is assaulted, then it is not really sexual assault.

Fact: Arousal and/or an Orgasm does not mean that someone “enjoyed” the sex, or that they wanted it. Arousal and/or an Orgasm can be a natural biological reaction that someone can’t control; it does not mean that forced or coerced sexual activity was consensual and often this is used to silence the survivor.

Myth: If a victim of sexual assault does not scream or fight or has no injury, it could not have been a sexual assault.

Fact: Submission is not consent; lack of a “no” does not mean “yes”.  There are many reasons why it may not be “safe” or possible for someone to physically resist or fight back. – Many survivors experience something called tonic immobility or a “freeze response” during an assault where they physically cannot move or speak.

Myth: It’s only considered “forced” when there is some form of violence.

Fact: Force is: blackmail, emotional coercion, manipulation, threats, intimidation, the use of alcohol and drugs, the use or display of a weapon, physical battery or assault, immobilization or restriction and any combination thereof.

Myth: People that have been sexually assaulted will be hysterical and crying.

Fact: Survivors of sexual assault elicit a range of emotional, physical, and mental reactions to the trauma of being sexually assaulted, including not having any reaction at all. Each victim will respond differently.

Myth: Sexual assault is caused by lust or uncontrollable sexual urges and the need for sexual gratification

Fact: While some offenders do seek sexual gratification from the act, sexual gratification is most often not a primary motivation for a rape offender. Power, control, and anger are more likely to be the primary motivators.

Myth: Sexual assault is provoked by the victim’s wearing revealing clothing, behaving provocatively, or drinking/using drugs.

Fact: Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault, and has nothing to do with their actions, behaviors, or by the way they dress. Sexual assault is a violent attack on an individual, not a spontaneous crime of sexual passion.  No one “asks” for or caused their assailant to commit a crime against them.

Myth: People who commit same-sex sexual assault must be homosexual.

Fact: Sexual assault is about power and control and happens regardless of sexual orientation. Forcing sexual acts is one tactic an offender can use to dominate, humiliate, and exert power over another person regardless of that person’s gender. It can occur in same-sex and heterosexual relationships and victims of sexual assault can be any gender. In one study, 98% of men who raped boys reported that they were heterosexual.

Myth: Being sexually assaulted by someone of the same gender can make a person gay or lesbian.

Fact: The assault is typically not based on the sexual preferences of the victim or rapist, and therefore does not necessarily change the victim’s sexual orientation.

Myth: People with disabilities are at low risk for sexual assault.

Fact: People with disabilities are victims of sexual assault twice as much as people without disabilities.

Myth: Sex workers cannot be raped because they are selling sex.

Fact: Sex workers have the right to give and withhold consent to any sexual activity, and therefore, can be assaulted or raped just like anyone else.

Myth: A lot of victims lie about being raped or give false reports.

Fact: The incidence of “false reporting” is estimated at 2-6%. Reporting a sexual assault is not easy, and most sexual assaults are not reported. The false report rate is no greater than the false report rate for any other felony.

Myth: Getting help is expensive for survivors of assault.

Fact: Services such as counseling and advocacy are offered for free or at a low cost by sexual assault service providers.

Myth: There is nothing we can do to prevent sexual violence.

Fact: There are many ways you can help prevent sexual violence including intervening as a bystander to protect someone who may be at risk.

FACT: It is NEVER the victim’s fault.

 What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted

If you’ve been sexually assaulted, you may have many mixed emotions. You may also ask yourself many questions. All reactions are valid.

 Steps to take after a sexual assault.

After a rape/sexual assault, it’s hard to know how to react. You may be physically hurt, emotionally drained, or unsure what to do next. You may be considering working with the criminal justice system, but are unsure of where to start. Here are some steps you can take…

  • Address your immediate safety. Get to a safe place/Call 911 or other local emergency personnel.
  • Call someone. No matter how late it is, you should not be alone. Call a trusted family member or friend. You can also contact an advocate from a local crisis center. (You’ll find a list of hotlines/helplines below.)
  • Consider your medical options – Remember, the choice to seek medical treatment is yours alone. Many survivors may be reluctant to pursue medical attention in the immediate wake of a sexual assault. It is ultimately up to you to decide what to do in accordance with your own physical, psychological and emotional needs. Please keep in mind that you do NOT have to report what happened to the police to receive medical attention.

Although the choice is yours, it’s recommended that you seek medical attention from a private doctor, clinic, or hospital emergency room for treatment of any injuries (including internal injuries of which you may be unaware), as well as preventative medication for pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

  • Consider getting a sexual assault examination or “rape kit.” This preserves potential DNA evidence. If you decide that you do want to proceed with official charges, this evidence will be invaluable.

If the assault occurred within the past 120 hours (5 days), you can receive a Sexual Assault Forensic Exam, also known as a ‘rape kit.’ During the exam, a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) will collect patient history and information about the crime that occurred, and collect physical evidence, including photographs of injuries.

Try not to not shower, bathe, eat, drink, smoke, change clothes, or use the restroom if at all possible. This is important to preserve evidence. If possible do not change your clothes, if you already changed, put your clothes in a clean paper bag (not plastic bag) and bring those clothes with you to the hospital.

You don’t have to decide right away if you’re going to talk with the police about what happened or press charges against the person who assaulted you. If you choose not to report to police right away, the evidence collected during the exam will be kept in an anonymous rape kit, which is called an Anonymous Report or Jane Doe Report. The evidence collected will be stored for one year, to give you time to decide whether you want to report the crime.

  • Find mental health support. A sexual assault service provider or your local crisis center can connect you with professionals skilled in this area of support.
  • Figure out your next steps: A sexual assault service provider can help answer any questions you may have. They can also connect you with resources you may need, including legal options.

Remember, the sexual assault was not your fault and you are not alone.

 Where to go for help:

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse, you don’t have to go through it alone. The websites and hotlines listed below can help!

 HOTLINES

National Sexual Assault Hotline: National hotline, operated by RAINN, that serves people affected by sexual violence. It automatically routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. The hotline operates 24/7.

Hotline number: 1-800-656-4673

National Street Harassment Hotline: Created by Stop Street Harassment, Defend Yourself, and operated by RAINN, the National Street Harassment Hotline is a resource for those affected by gender-based street harassment.

Hotline number: 1.855.897.5910

National Sexual Violence Resource Center: NSCRV provide supportive services to victims of sexual assault: mental health support, advocacy, accompaniment during medical exams and law enforcement interviews, education, follow-up services, and referrals to other resources.

Hotline Number: 1-877-739-3895

Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault Helpline: MECASA is organized to end sexual violence and to support high-quality sexual violence prevention & response in Maine communities.

Helpline number: 1-800-871-7741

Maine Statewide Crisis Hotline: This is a 24-hour crisis hotline where callers can speak with a trained crisis clinician who can connect them with the closet crisis center.

Hotline number: 1-888-568-1112

National Domestic Violence Hotline: NDVH’s advocates are there to listen without judgement. They are there to help you begin to address what’s going on in your relationship. Their services are always free and available 24/7.

Hotline number: 1-800-799-7233

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: The NTDAH’s peer advocates are reachable by phone, text and online chat 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Hotline number: 1.866.331.9474

Text: LOVEIS to 22522

Chat Live: https://www.loveisrespect.org/

ONLINE RESOURCES

After Silence: On this Web site, you will find a support group, message board, and chat room for survivors of rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse.

http://www.aftersilence.org/index.php

The National Center for Victims of Crime: The mission of the National Center for Victims of Crime is to forge a national commitment to help victims of crime rebuild their lives. They are dedicated to serving individuals, families, and communities harmed by crime.

National Sexual Violence Resource Center: This site offers a wide variety of information relating to sexual violence (including a large legal resource library) for survivors, friends & family, and advocates & educators.

The Dru Sjodin National Sex Offender Public Website:  The NSOPW is an unprecedented public safety resource that provides the public with access to sex offender data nationwide. Users can search the state, territorial and tribal sex offender registries all in one place.

Victim Connect Resource Center: The VCRC website is a place where victims can learn about their rights and options confidentially and compassionately. Victims can find information and connect with resources, craft their next steps, and access referrals.

Sexual Assault Resource Guide: Healthline covers a wide range of information including what is sexual assault, what is consent, what is force, how to make a police report, how to find medical care, how to get legal support, how to find mental health support, and more.

 References/Source Information:

National Sexual Violence Resource Center

The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (Rainn)

New Items ~ April 2021

FICTION

Across the green grass fields by Seanan McGuire.  In this fantasy, a young girl discovers a portal to a land filled with centaurs and unicorns.

A bright ray of darkness by Ethan Hawke.  The blistering story of a young man making his Broadway debut in Henry IV, just as his marriage implodes – an utterly transfixing book about art and love, fame and heartbreak.

The burning girls by C.J. Tudor.  An unconventional vicar must exorcise the dark past of a remote village haunted by death and disappearances in this unsettling thriller.

Dark sky by C.J. Box.  Wyoming game warden Joe Pickett must accompany a Silicon Valley CEO on a hunting trip – but soon learns that he himself may be the hunted.

Death by chocolate snickerdoodle by Sarah Graves.  When a cunning killer and a devastating fire threaten to ravage Eastport, Jacobia Tiptree must go into action before all she loves goes up in smoke.

The Duke and I by Julia Quinn.  In the first book of the Bridgerton series, Daphne Bridgerton’s reputation soars when she colludes with the Duke of Hastings.

Enjoy the view by Sarah Morgenthaler.  A grouchy mountaineer, a Hollywood starlet, and miles of untamed wilderness.  What could possibly go wrong in this rom-com?

Faithless in death by J.D. Robb.  Eve Dallas investigates the murder of a young sculptor in the West Village.

The kitchen front by Jennifer Ryan.  A BBC-sponsored wartime cooking competition gives the four women who enter a chance to better their lives.

Landslide by Susan Conley.  The author is at her best capturing Maine’s coastal terrain as well as her character’s emotional turmoil.  Through her disarming family portrait, she speaks volumes about changing ways of life.

Later by Stephen King.  With echoes of his classic novel, It, this is a powerful, haunting, unforgettable exploration of what it takes to stand up to evil in all the faces it wears.

The lowering days by Gregory Brown.  Set in 1980s Maine, this explores family love, the power of myths and storytelling, survival and environmental exploitation, and the ties between cultural identity and the land we live on.

The midnight library by Matt Haig.  Nora Seed finds a library beyond the edge of the universe that contains books with multiple possibilities of the lives on could have lived.

Minus me by Mameve Medwed.  Her life turned upside down by a grim diagnosis, a small-town Maine woman sets about writing a “How To” life manual for her handsome yet hapless husband.

Missing and endangered by J.A. Jance.  The Cochise Country Sheriff’s daughter becomes involved in a missing persons case.

The northern reach by W.S. Winslow.  Set in Maine, this is a novel about the power of place and family ties, the weight of the stories we choose to tell, and the burden of those stories we hide.

Our Italian summer by Jennifer Probst.  Three generations of women must heal the broken pieces of their lives on a trip of a lifetime through picturesque Italy.

The Paris Library by Janet Charles.  A teenager in Montana discovers that her elderly neighbor worked decades earlier at the American Library in Paris and was part of the Resistance.

The Plague Court murders by John Dickson Carr.  When a spiritual medium is murdered in a locked hut on a haunted estate, Sir Henry Merrivale seeks a logical solution to a ghostly crime.

The rebel nun by Marj Charlier.  Based on the true story of Clotild, the daughter of a 6th century king who leads a rebellion of nuns against the rising misogyny and patriarchy of the medieval church.

The sanatorium by Sarah Pearse.  Elin Warner must find her estranged brother’s fiancée, who goes missing as a storm approaches a hotel that was once a sanatorium in the Swiss Alps.

Who is Maud Dixon?  by Alexandra Andrews.  Identity theft takes on a new meaning in this arresting thriller.

Winter’s orbit by Everina Maxwell.  A famously disappointing minor royal and the Emperor’s least favorite grandchild, Prince Kiem commanded by the Emperor to renew the empire’s bonds with its newest vassal planet.  The prince must marry Count Jainan, the recent widower of another royal prince of the empire.

NEW DVDs

Jojo Rabbit (2019) starring Scarlett Johansson, Rebel Wilson, Taika Waititi, and Sam Rockwell

The old maid (1939) starring Bette Davis and Miriam Hopkins

Foreign Correspondent (1940) starring Joel McCrea

The Sunshine Boys (1975) starring Walter Matthau and George Burns

NEW MUSIC CDs

Fetch the bolt cutters by Fiona Apple

Women in Music, Pt. III by HAIM

Black Pumas by Black Pumas

The new Abnormal by The Strokes

Fine line by Harry Styles

NONFICTION

Can’t slow down by Michaelangelo Matos.  How 1984 became pop’s blockbuster year – the definitive account of pop music in the mid-80s from Prince and Madonna to the underground hip-hop, indie rock, and club scenes.

The crown in crisis by Alexander Larman.  A juicy account of the events leading up to and following British monarch King Edward VIII’s abdication…even royal watcher will learn something new from this comprehensive account of one of the biggest scandals in the history of the British monarchy.

Dress codes by Richard Ford.  A revelatory exploration of fashion through the ages that asks what our clothing reveals about ourselves and our society.

Every conversation counts by Riaz Meghji.  Readers looking to have more meaningful interactions would do well to pick this up due to significant consideration as to how the pandemic era has changed relationships.

Girlhood by Masuma Ahuja.  Full of pictures and the unique voices of teenage girls in a variety of situations and cultures, this provides a snapshot of teens’ lives around the world.

The soul of a woman by Isabel Allende.  A passionate and inspiriting meditation on what it means to be a woman.

To raise a boy by Emma Brown.  A journalist’s searing investigation into how we teach boys to be men – and how we can do better.  Insightful and sometimes disturbing.

Walk in my combat boots by James Patterson.  A collection of interviews with troops who fought overseas.  The most moving and powerful war stories ever told, by the men and women who lived them.

Walking with ghosts by Gabriel Byrne.  Bryne channels his fellow countrymen and Ireland’s literary masters as he reveals his struggle with alcoholism, aching passion for the Ireland of his youth, and is piercingly frank about his acting life.

We need to hang out by Billy Baker.  In this comic adventure through the loneliness epidemic, a middle-aged everyman looks around one day and realizes that he seems to have misplaced his friends, inspiring him to set out on a hilarious and moving quest to revive old tribes and build new ones, in his own ridiculous way.

What they don’t teach teens by Jonathan Cristall.  Life safety skills for teens and the adults who care for them.

The witch of eye by Kathryn Nuernberger.  Essays concerning the history of women who saw things differently and dared not to be silent and silenced by power structures.  Women such as Titiba, Marie Laveau, and Hildegard of Bingen.

World of wonders by Aimee Nezhukumatathil.  A collection of essays about the natural world and the way its inhabitants can teach, support, and inspire us.

You’re leaving when? by Annabelle Gurwitch.  Erma Bombeck meets Dorothy Parker in this topical and often laugh-out-loud take on our modern malaise.

Children’s Books

PICTURE BOOKS

The camping trip by Jennifer K Mann

Champ and Major: first dogs by Joy McCullough

Cow boy is not a cowboy by Gregory Barrington

Eyes that kiss in the corners by Joanna Ho

Idea jar by Adam Lehrhaupt

Look! I wrote a book! (and you can too!) by Sally Lloyd-Jones

Time for Kenny by J. Brian Pinkney

Welcome to the party by Gabrielle Union

Your name is a song by Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow

CHAPTER BOOKS

Clean getaway By Nic Stone

Sofia Valdez and the vanishing vote by Andrea Beaty

Two roads by Joseph Bruchac

GRAPHIC NOVELS

The baby-sitter’s club: Claudia and the new girl by Ann Martin

Baby-sitters little sister: Karen’s worst day by Ann Martin

The Challenger disaster by Pranas Naujokaitis

The great Chicago fire by Kate Hannigan

The Roanoke Colony by Christ Schweizer

NON-FICTION

Free press and censorship by Susan Brophy Down

Frogs by Gail Gibbons

Hello neighbor! : the kind and caring world of Mister Rogers by Matthew Cordell

Kamala Harris : rooted in justice by Nikki Grimes

Marie’s Ocean: Marie Tharp maps the mountains under the sea  by Josie James

Memorial Day by Emma Carlson Berne

Memory superpowers: an adventurous guide to remembering what you don’t want to forget by Nelson Dellis

Monarch butterfly by Gail Gibbons

The truth about butterflies by Maxwell Eaton III

Visual guide to grammar and punctuation by Sheila Digmen

DVDS

Bill Nye the science guy: Patterns

Bill Nye the science guy: Reptiles

Bill Nye the science guy: Wetlands

Jetsons, the movie

Notes from Booklist, Publishers Weekly, Kirkus, Library Journal, and New York Times Book Review